Psalm 34:18 (NIV): “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Today I want to get real with you about something that’s been on my mind. You know, as I’m getting closer to God, I’ve realized that sharing my experiences might just help someone out there. So, let’s talk about grief. I hadn’t really experienced grief until 2021 hit me like a ton of bricks. That year, my dear grandma passed away at the ripe age of 94, my ex-boyfriend tragically lost his life in a motorcycle accident, and I found out about my little cousin who took her own life. Even though I hadn’t met her in person, her passing hit me hard. You see, we share a special connection through her mom, who has given her the same name as my grandma. My grandma always spoke so fondly of her, and she was such a precious soul.

I found myself in that first stage – denial. I just couldn’t believe they were gone. All I could do was reminisce about the good times and the memories we had shared. Then came the anger, and with it, the blame game. My ex had complained about his bike having issues, and the company didn’t fix an issue he felt the bike had. I blamed them, and I blamed myself for getting mad at him for the little things during our six-year relationship. I pushed him away because I couldn’t have children anymore, and he always wanted kids and other stuff.

Next up was the depression stage. I started questioning my own life choices. Was I doing the right thing? Was this how I wanted my story to end? I felt stuck in bed, not wanting to do anything. It’s possible I’m still in this phase or just getting over it. Today’s date is 09/29/2023, 7:12 pm Eastern Time, after all.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I want. Is this really how I want to go out? I always told God I wanted to create my own family. Yet, my business had consumed all my time. My kitchen table became my workshop, and my son is on the verge of finishing high school, ready to embark on his own journey. I had to have a heart-to-heart with God because my business, once my dream, was now drowning me in depression.

But guess what? I’m getting back on track, and TikTok has been my unexpected savior. It might sound crazy, but I found solace in singing and dancing, even though I’m not exactly Beyoncé. I connected with some really nice people there. Sure, I’ve had to deal with a few fake pages, but no big deal.

I believe the last stage should be acceptance. It still hurts, and I miss them dearly, but I’ve come to accept that death is a part of life. We’re all going to pass away someday, and we never know when, where, or how. That’s why I’ve always said, “Live life responsibly to the fullest because tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone,” and always trust in God.

Recently, a family friend passed away. He was a great guy, and I had just seen him not too long ago. Hearing the news shocked me, but as a Christian and a God-fearing woman, I know he’s in a better place now, reunited with my grandparents, my ex, and my cousin.

So, my friends, let’s live life to the fullest, love our family and friends while we have them, and dance like nobody’s watching, even in the rain. Remember, money can be the root of all kinds of evil, and that’s why so many people chase it.

I got my dreadlocks just before my ex passed away. I remember him saying we’d take pictures and celebrate once they grew long. But you know what? These dreads have been a journey, much like the stages of grief.

Stay blessed, y’all, and have a fantastic day!

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV): “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” #LifeLessons #GriefJourney